pr2It takes a lot of attention and care from both parties to create and maintain a happy relationship.

 

Even couples who seem to be happy may have tension between them. While it is unquestionable that some couples have fewer issues than others, I think the secret of happiness or unhappiness is not based on the number of problems they have to deal with. All of us have seen relationships and thought "These people have everything, how would they possibly have problems?" They seem successful, nice, pretty, yet they might have issues we can not imagine. Conversely, there are couples who have every possible aggravating circumstance and they still seem to be happy. Sometimes we are even a bit ashamed, as we do not even know how we would survive in their situation, let alone have a successful relationship. 

 

The difference between these couples is the way they handle stress. When there is an issue, does the couple join forces and help each other find a solution? Or are they unable to handle the situation, and what was first one issue turns into two as they have to deal with each other's opposition in addition to the original problem?

 

The good news is that the skills to cope with stressful situations can be learned and practiced so eventually the couple can see problems as challenges that can help both of them grow individually and as a couple. 

 

Usually there are one of two reasons a couple goes to a psychologist. The first and most common reason is when an issue has occurred and the couple has difficulties coping. In these cases both parties attend the sessions and with the guidance of the psychologist, they evaluate the need for changes in their relationship patterns and attempt to reach an understanding. This can be a bumpy road, but the first and one of the most important steps towards success is that the couple realizes they have issues. 

 

Some issues I can help you with:

- If you argue often and about little things

- If one or both of you are jealous

- If you feel like the relationship is different than it was before

- If you are not satisfied with your relationship

- If you have issues related to your sex life

- If you have different ideas about raising children

- If you have problems with your communication.

 

The other reason why couples go to a psychologist is to strengthen an already satisfying relationship, to put energy in maintaining it, and caring about it so they can enjoy it at the same or even higher level for many years to come. For these couples there can be minor disagreements and more difficult periods as well. In longer relationships people can feel like the days become routine and "the flames of the fire have cooled off a bit". 

In these cases I recommend using the PREPARE/ENRICH Relationship Assessment, which has already helped more than 3.5 million couples to enrich their relationships.

For more information about the assessment click here: PREPARE/ENRICH

 

A couple's session is ninety minutes long and is usually held every other week, but can be weekly as circumstances permit. 

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